Dressed as Tweetie Pie, screaming around the final bend, I felt the panic surge in my chest. I was going too bloody fast. The ramp at the end would put me into a tree. I promised the lads I wouldn’t use the brake. I lied. The problem was, I couldn’t find the thing. I tried to aim for the bales of hay. This was going to hurt. Oh well, might as well do it in style. Taking both hands off the wheel, I waved frantically at the crowd. I hit the ramp going flat out and the car cleared about 20 feet. I locked the steering, and finally managed to slam on the brakes. 10 seconds later I was being helped out of the car and a microphone was stuck in my face. All I could think to say was “Wow.” High on adrenaline and excitement, I was hyperventilating and loving it and then my heart sank.
One of the judges, the BBC sports presenter Stephen Watson, was asked what he thought of the performance. He said we were cheats – that our machine was merely a go-kart with a cage and not a proper soapbox.
What the heck does Stephen Watson know?!
Fair play to compere, BBC Radio One DJ Colin Murray though, he stuck up for us.
Yesterday’s Red Bull Soapbox Derby at Stormont was a singularly crazy experience. 46 teams, around 30,000 people and all the Red Bull you could drink. Wow. I don’t know if I’ll ever be right again. I still can’t believe we done it. We didn’t win of course, not after we were branded as cheats, but it’s not the winning that counts; it’s the getting tanked (and taking part of course).
Team Tyrone Herald (me, Nigel, Paul, Dave and Olly) crafted a speed wagon, painted it all up, gave it love, care and attention and then dressed up like cartoon characters and pranced about like borderline mentalists in front of a crowd of baying spectators.
The creation of the soapbox over the past few weeks was onerous to say the least. But come race day yesterday; even I had to admit, it had all been worth it.
The sun was smiling, the drinks and hotdogs were free and everybody was up for the laugh. And then came the ‘cheats’ remark. I will never look at Stephen Watson the same way again.
According to Mr Watson, we had go-kart with a cage on it. And this, he reckoned didn’t qualify as a soapbox. Funny how we still allowed to enter. If we hadn’t been going so fast it probably wouldn’t have mattered to him. But since we were flying (mach 9 at least and I think third fastest on the day), Mr Watson took umbrage.
Consider yourself to have one less viewer from this moment onwards Mr Watson.
Apart from that, everything went swimmingly. Team TH’s cart was indeed a rocket and, I think, we done ourselves proud. One of the other judges even gave us a ‘nine out of ten’
Another Tyrone team, Ballygawley’s ‘The 99’ers’ were up first on the day and set a very high standard. Colin and the lads can also be rightly proud of their efforts. It even looked like they might make it onto the podium at one point.
Out of the 46 teams taking part, the top three finishers (I don’t know who they were), recieved prizes in the form of trips to this summer’s Grand Prix events. I don’t think I ever harboured any real hopes of a Tyrone Herald victory but by the same token, I wouldn’t have said we were cheats. That was a little harsh. I think we did quite well, as it happens. Honest to God, mach 9 at least.
In the end, after all the trouble and strife and dressing up and finding parts and painting and gluing and dancing and drinking (Red Bull), I think I’m glad it’s all over. Would I do it again next year if the derby comes back to Belfast? You bet. But only if Watson isn’t a judge.
The whole mission (and it was a misson) was a wonderful experience – but I will never look at that Watson man the same way again.
On Sunday last Team Tyrone Herald competed in the Red Bull Soapbox Challenge 2008 in front of an estimated crowd of 40,000 people at Stormont in Belfast. The lads - Nigel McDonagh, Michael Devlin, Paul Devlin, David Mooney and Oliver Boyle - gave a great account of themselves and recorded one of the fastest times of the day. However, one of the judges, BBC sports presenter Stephen Watson, cast a shadow over their efforts when he labelled them as 'cheats' for not building a proper soapbox. Team Tyrone Herald are rather miffed at this accusation and point out that a lot of hard work and effort went into not only modifying their machine to make it look like a bird cage, but also their costumes, performance and music which the crowd enjoyed on the day.
After seeing the photos of Team Tyrone Herald in action, do you think Stephen Watson was justified in his criticism of their vehicle?
